Jokes Of The Month

Chu Kang ( PCK ) explaining sex to Chu Beng's son, Aloysius ...
Aloy : Why is making love so enjoyable ?
PCK : Aiyah, ah boy, enjoyable becaws, same like when you dig your nose with your finger mah ! --------------------------------------- --------------------------------------- ---------- Aloy : Do you think women enjoy sex more than men?
PCK : Of course woman lah ! When you dig dig your nose, your nose feel better than your finger, right ? ----------------------------
Aloy : Why do women hate it when they get raped ?
PCK : Ai-yah ! Say, you walk along the load(road),den someone come over and dig your nose, you like or not ? Ehhh ? Don't pray pray ah --------------------------------------- --------------------------------------- ---------
Aloy : Why is it a woman cannot have sex when she is having her menses?
PCK : Oy !! If your nose bleeding, you still go and dig meh?? Siow ah !Use your Blain (brain), use your blainnn .......... --------------------------------------- -------------------- Aloy : Why is it most men don't like wearing condoms when they are making love?
PCK : Ehhhh, when you dig your nose ah, you like to dig with a glove on your finger or not ? Not the same shiok feeling mah. Corlight (correct) or not? --------------------------------------- --------------------------------------- ------------
Aloy : Why is making love carried out in private ?
PCK : Ah boyyyyy, use your blain, use your blainnnnn . you go and dig your nose in flont of your whole class izit ?? Stupid lah!!










A family is sitting around the supper table.The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?"The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons,round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears,still nice buthanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions.""Onions?""Yes, see them and they make you cry."This infuriated the wife and daughter, so the daughtersaid,"Mom, how many kind of penises are there?"The mother, surprised, smiles and looks at her husband and answers, "Well, dear, a man goes through three phases. In a man's twenties, hispenis is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is likea birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree." "A Christmas tree?""Yes, dead from the root up & the balls are there for decorationonly!"









Hokkien Exam PaperInstructions:
1. Read the passage carefully
2. Grade yourself with the gradingsystem at the end of the passage afterreading.
3. Not that difficult, chin chai dolah !

Section A: Orrler Exeminetion (60marks)
Question:Singalella why become rich ?Koo zhar wu chee ay char bor kia,Singalella.She got two sisters, but thestepmarder and the sisters all damnkuai-lan, so she quite zhia-lat oso.Last time Singalella got own maid, but now she become the amah.Everyday must cook lah, clean lah,simi sai mah bao-kah-liao.If her sister say liak kar zhuak, sheliak.Tak jit zho kah tau-hin.CPF poon boh.But then, kay piak eh ah-pek got oneson call Ah Ming got party.So he say, "oeh, long chong lai ah."Singalella very happy because she never go party before but then her step-marder say, "Lee Mana eh-sai kee,this one bahru lu eh sisters wustandard."Then Singalella must zho sui-sui forher sisters and step-marder.Tak pai haw, buay zhia, buay koon andbuay pang-sai.That night she only can wave bye byeand then she go back to the kitchenand cook Maggi mee.Her neighbour came over and ask, "Eh,an-zhua lu boh kee party?"So Singalella kong, "I-wan, lau-bukong buay-sai, so boh pian."She never expect but the neighboursay, "Aiyah, kee lah, I give you money."So singalella brush teef and zhang-zhui, zhen-kor, after that look very different.She quickly run to opposite of the beh-chia-lor, already 11 o'clock.At the party, Ah Ming also quite sianbecause the char bor all boh sui one.Dance floor even got one ah pekdancing.Just as Ah Ming told himself, "Aiyahsee-pay zhia-lat", Singalella came in.AhMing straight away lau nuar."Wah-lau eh, see-pay heng ah, chee korbuay pai."Ah Ming say to Singalella, "eh, suieh, wah ai kah lee zho flen!"Singalella say ok but Ah Ming likeoctopus, touch here touch there.But then just it was 12 o'clock, oneah pek die on the dance floor.He become ghost and tell Singalella all the good 4D number.So after that Singalella quickly go and buy 4D, and then tiok tau-pio,zhit-pak ban.So she pay back the kay-piak eh lau-kay-poh and then kah kee cho sen-lee.Simi kuan eh sen-lee wah mana eh zhai.

Section B: Grades - Gauge Your commandof Hokkien....
A1. Can understand the story andpronounce Hokkien correctly.Hokkien eh sai, bo beh zao.
A2. Can understand half story and/orcannot pronounce Hokkien properly.zhia lat
E8. Don't understand story and/orcatch no ball.leow leow, maika lang kong you is Hokkien Singabolean
F9. Don't understand rating.kee see lah, wah mana eh zhai lee kongsimi? __________________________________________________